Sister Normalee Chaste
Do you have other names?
How did you choose your name?
As I was bathing my armpits in a cute AirBNB near the new 7-11 they just built in Austin, using
the queerest of the Herbal Essences shampoo scents - "Fresh Water" – I began to think, “That boy last night was cute, I wonder if I will ever meet him again.” I never did meet him again, although I won’t forget the night we had under the stars in that industrial park fellating each other to the tunes of Shania Twain and commercials for baking soda. It’s really odd the commercials they have on nowadays, you know? Like, who has ever been influenced by a baking powder commercial?
Anyways, as I was standing there naked, thinking about that moment, it came to me.
And I have never seen Burt again, and, I pine for that night in the car.
When did you join the order?
Somewhere between the Taft Administration and September 15th, 2043, but I’m pretty sure it wasn’t during the War.
First event with the Sisters?
I was going to get over my fear of boats on the open ocean (only good for sex, murder, and fishing). Thankfully the boat was cancelled because of too much sex (or maybe too much murder, who can tell the difference nowadays), so, we manifested in the park and then had lunch at a restaurant in Sausalito and there was no murder and lots of sex.
What is your birthday?
Pretty sure *this* is the thing that happened during the war.
Where are you from?
Capital of Polonia, Nanticoke, Pennsylvania, where diversity is being an Irish Catholic instead of a Polish Catholic. We moved around a bit around Northeastern Pennsylvania, but only to cities that had at least 4 Polish Catholic churches because that's how my weird family rolled.
Who are your Sponsors in the Order?
My mother is Sister Desi Love, previously Sister Desi Moan, and other miscellaneous sexual verbs. I love her to Uranus and back, and she’s been a comforting blanket to me throughout my entire process.
My big sisters are Sister Flora Goodthyme, Sister maeJoy b. withU, and Sister Mary Media.
Any Takeaways from your Process?
The free lunch at events can sometimes be improved, and there’s very rarely a full paleo option. But I do enjoy sticking my fingers in the cake, when they allow me to. Which, they don’t allow me to anymore, after that one Sunday afternoon in Tulsa.
You can't take yourself to seriously, but tie a bow at the end of the package.
Why did you join the Order?
To fuck some shit up.
Do you have a specific ministry?
I’m current conducting a writing project about how queer subcultures are changing after marriage equality, with a specific focus on subcultures that were originally largely populated by gay white men but have gone more mainstream in the last two decades. If you are a part of the bear, pup, BDSM, or furry communities, please let me know!
I’m always interested in taboos, especially as it comes along with our bodily processes. Did you know one of the leading causes of death around the world is diarrhea? When was the last time you attended a diarrhea prevention fundraiser? Never! Why, because, why are we going to talk about it?
Anarchy and buttercream frosting.
If I have anything to do with it, shitty supermarket sheet cake will survive the revolution, apopocalypse, and day of reckoning.
I think all tollbooth operators, regardless of their sins, should be sainted.
I also believe in radical acceptance and accepting radicals.
It’s the quiet ones you have to watch out for.
Goals and Aspirations
The more people I can make giggle, confuse, annoyed, or constipate with a productive purpose of engaging them in things they have disengaged from, I simultaneously become a better and worse part of myself.
How would you describe your look?
Quite frankly – and this is the one serious answer I am giving – our work has to transcend our looks, and our work cannot BE our looks. I will ALWAYS choose the nun who is doing amazing work with the most fucked up, ratchet ass, squiggly line, smeared complexion.
So simply put: I’ve never thought much about it, rarely give it any thought, and refuse to give it thought.
Rules by which I live
If they don't understand you, so what.
Comfort the disturbed and disturb the comfortable and down comforters 4all!
Don't be an ass, and if you are, be firm, juicy, and open.
Know your microbiome.
Who is Sister Normalee in a nutshell?
I'm very serious, hence, all of the answers above.